February 10, 2024

Why marriage counseling works




  • The role of communication in marriage
  • Identifying and addressing relationship challenges
  • Rebuilding emotional connection
  • Resolving conflict
  • Rebuilding trust and healing wounds
  • Building long-term relationship satisfaction

Marriage is a one of a kind relationship that can bring a lot of joy to your life. At the same time, it’s not without its challenges.Many couples find that marriage counseling can help them navigate relationship difficulties as they arise while helping them maintain the positive love feelings they have for each other. This article will go over why marriage counseling works and how it can be used to  help you improve your relationship.

The role of communication in marriage

Communication that is clear and productive is the foundation of any relationship, and is especially needed to be successful in a marriage. Poor communication often leads to misunderstanding, disagreements, misinterpretations, and arguments, ultimately creating more tension in the relationship. Marriage counseling can provide a supportive and neutral place to practice new communication skills. A marriage counselor will likely have you practice communication exercises in the session so you can learn to communication and listening skills. While your overall communication will likely improve, you will likely practice assertiveness skills, communicating in honest and respectful ways, and how to listen for understanding versus responding.

Identifying and addressing relationship challenges

Building a life together with someone else can bring with it many challenges and disagreements. It’s hard to bring two different personalities together, with their of set of preferences and desires, and somehow find a common ground 100% of the time.  Each partner will have their own values and priories. Marriage counseling can help you both explore your relationship wants, needs, and preferences and work to understand where each other’s perspectives. Through this process, you can find common ground. Couples who can’t find a way to be on the same page together often find the foundation of their relationship eroding over time. With the help of a skilled marriage counselor, you can address any root causes to problems while working through personality difference in order to find a mutably satisfying outcome.

Rebuilding emotional connection

It’s my belief, as an emotionally focused couples therapist, that the majority of couples relationship problems boil down to a lack of emotional connection. Emotional connection is an important for a satisfying marriage–even more important than communication! I’ve met couples who couple communicate great but felt like roommates. Whether is due to stress, unresolved conflicts, or just trying to not rick the boat, emotional disconnection leave people feeling unfulfilled in their marriages. Through marriage counseling, couples can learn things like emotional validation, empathy, and how to share experiences again. This can help them rekindle their intimacy and reconnect emotionally.

Resolving conflict

While conflict can’t be avoided, it can be worked through in a positive way. When conflict goes unresolved, resentment can build (and emotional disconnection can grow!). Through marriage counseling, couples learn to resolve conflicts in a positive manner. When you can express your needs and wants effectively while using negotiation and compromise, you can often find mutually satisfying solutions to problems. Having a long-term satisfying marriage will require you to be able to resolve conflict in an effective and productive way.

Rebuilding trust and healing wounds

Trust is another important component for healthy marriages. When trust is broken, it can take a long time to rebuild–especially in the cases of infidelity and other big betrayals. Marriage counseling can help couples heal relationship wounds from broken trust while working to rebuild the trust in the relationship. Marriage counselings working towards this goal ay focus on helping decrease secrets through open, honest, and transparent communication. They may also work on helping the couple develop healthy boundaries and work toward forgiveness. It’s important to note that often times couples can heal from past betrayals and build a stronger relationship together. (learn more about how couples therapy can help with betrayal here.)

Building long-term relationship satisfaction

Marriages are like plants–they require some TLC to keep them growing strong. While marriage counseling can help you address more immediate problems, it can also help you build tools for long term success. Couples who lean to nurture relationship and promote both individual and relationship growth have great relationship satisfaction. Investing in marriage counseling is investing in the future satisfaction and health of your relationship.Marriage counseling has many benefits in that it can help you improve communication, resolve conflict, rebuild trust, and help you stay emotionally connected so you can build long-term relationship satisfaction. Seeking professional help through marriage counseling can help promote the growth of your relationship while building a more fulfilling marriage for you both.

Looking to start marriage counseling?

Elizabeth Polinsky Counseling provides online Emotionally Focused Couples Counseling, as well as weekend-long Marriage Intensives, throughout the states of Virginia, South Carolina, Arkansas, and Nevada. Click the button below to schedule a complimentary consult. ​

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    About Author

    Elizabeth Polinsky is a Certified Emotionally Focused Couple Therapist (EFT) providing EFT marriage counseling in the states of Virginia, Maryland, North Carolina, South Carolina, Arkansas, and Nevada. She also provides EFT training and supervision to therapists looking to become certified in EFT Couple Therapy. As a military spouse, she has a special passion for working with military and veteran couples, and is also the host of The Communicate & Connect Podcast for Military Relationships.


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