August 3, 2020

3 Types of Intimacy in Marriage

Moments of intimacy

Share:

When looking for a romantic relationship, we all want intimacy. When people talk about good marriages, they talk about how they have intimacy. And when people talk about bad marriages or come to marriage counseling, they often say that intimacy is missing.

But what exactly is intimacy?

Intimacy in marriage has three central components:

1. Showing intimacy in marriage means sharing personal information.

In good relationships and marriages, couples are able to share personal and intimate details with each other. By sharing vulnerable emotions, your partner is able to emotionally understand and empathize with you. In happy long-term marriages, couples share vulnerability with each other and understand each other’s deeper emotions. This allows couples to depend on each other for emotional support.

Overhead Shot of a Couple Looking at Each Other

2. Showing intimacy in marriage means building more trust.

This mutual vulnerability leads to a deeper emotional connection and more trust. The more couples are able to share vulnerability and have their emotions understood, they develop a deeper trust in each other. They trust their partner to have their back. This level of emotional trust naturally leads to more positive feelings toward each other. And when couples feel emotionally connected and have emotional trust in their marriage, they also begin to notice the positives about their relationship and each other again.

3. Showing intimacy in marriage means being able to communicate strong feelings.

The last component of intimacy is communicating those positive emotions to each other. Couples can communicate this is many ways. Some couples verbalize their appreciation for each other and the things that they admire about each other. Other couples share more physical affection through hugs, holding hands, or cuddling. There are many ways a couple could show affection—the important part is that they actually show it!

As a military marriage counselor, I am often helping couples regain intimacy in their relationships and develop deeper emotional connections. Marriage counseling is a great tool to start growing intimacy in your relationship again. Just remember, the first steps are to be vulnerable and share personal information, promote positive feelings for each other, and tell your partner about the positive feeling you for them!

Man and Woman Holding Hands

Want more intimacy in your relationship? Download my FREE Guide Date Night: Ideas for Your Love Language. ​

Liz’s Useful Links: 

     

Join the Communicate & Connect Newsletter

Join our bi-monthly newsletter with tips for improving your relationship. The newsletter is part of The Communicate & Connect Podcast which focuses on military and veteran couples; however, much of the information is applicable to civilian couples as well.  

    We won't send you spam. Unsubscribe at any time.

    Favicon-liz-polinsky.webp

    About Author

    Elizabeth Polinsky is a Certified Emotionally Focused Couple Therapist (EFT) providing EFT marriage counseling in the states of Virginia, Maryland, North Carolina, South Carolina, Arkansas, and Nevada. She also provides EFT training and supervision to therapists looking to become certified in EFT Couple Therapy. As a military spouse, she has a special passion for working with military and veteran couples, and is also the host of The Communicate & Connect Podcast for Military Relationships.

    DISCLAIMER:

    My podcast, blogs, videos, newsletters, and products are general information for educational purposes only; they are not psychotherapy and not a replacement for therapy. The information provided is not intended to be therapy or psychological advice; and nothing I post should be considered professional advice. The information provided does not constitute the formation of a therapist-patient relationship.

    I cannot answer questions regarding your specific situation; you should consult your doctor or mental health provider regarding advice and support for your health and well being. If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency, you should call 911, report to your local ER, or call the National Crisis Hotline at 1-800-273-8255.

    The podcast, blogs, videos, newsletters, and products are not a request for a testimonial, rating, or endorsement from clients regarding counseling. If you are a current or former client/ patient, please remember that your comments may jeopardize your confidentiality. I will not “friend” or “follow” current or past clients to honor ethical boundaries and privacy; nor will I respond to comments or messages through social media or other platforms from current or past clients. Current and past client’s should only contact me through the professional contact information provided on the website.

    ​Lastly, accounts may be managed by multiple people. Therefore, comments and messages are monitored by staff and are not confidential.