July 13, 2020

Gifts Love Language


With the Gifts Love Language, individuals tend to feel loved when they receive meaningful gifts from their partner.  Gifts like small notes, mementos, or their favorite dessert or candy have a large very impact on making them feel loved. This could also be a larger gift such as the engagement ring or other jewelry for woman, or watches etc. for men. The gift does not have to be big or expensive though. In fact, frequency of small gifts could make a bigger impact on your partner than expensive gifts if their love language is gifts. If this is your partner’s love language, try giving them small gifts often.  (Wondering about the difference between primary and secondary love languages?? Click here to learn more.)

​The key is showing your appreciation for your partner through something tangible. This is something your partner can look at and say, “yea they were thinking of me”. When you partner’s love language is gifts, they prefer having visual representations of your love over other ways of showing love like touch or compliments. Make sure to find ways to give your partner small gifts often. This will make them feel close and connected to you!

Individuals whose love language is gifts tend to give gifts to the people who are close to them. They might buy coffee for someone, bake a cake for someone birthday, or make crafts or artwork for those that are important to them. They tend to be very giving toward others. If this is your partner’s love language, they are longing for you to show representations of love through tangible objects and give them small gifts to remind them that you have been thinking about them.

​Tips for Speaking the “Gift” Love Language

If your partner’s love language is gifts and yours isn’t; then you are probably wondering how to actually go about speaking their love language. Here are some tips:

  • Get them a box of candy,
  • Buy them flowers or pick flowers for them while on a walk.
  • Try making art for your partner—crafts like painting, ceramics, woodworking, etc.
  • Pick them up coffee or make them coffee and bring it to them.
  • Get you partner a book or audio book to read/listen to together.
  • Try a coupon book for your partner.
  • Keep a notebook of the things your partner says they would really like to give you other ideas.

  • If you are long distance or deployed: try mailing your partner a care package with different notes to open up at designated times. Remember to include pictures or items from your favorite memories together.

Things to Avoid with the Gifts Love Language

Since meaningful gifts are so important for the person whose love language is gifts, non-meaningful gifts will have less of an impact. You’ll want to avoid:

  • Avoid generic gift cards. If you go the gift card route, make sure it is to something they REALLY love.  
  • Avoid forgetting birthday or anniversary gifts. Set a reminder for yourself to get something in advance if this is not your language!
  • Avoid only getting them gifts on special occasions. You want to make sure you give them some small gifts regularly.
  • Avoid rejecting your partner’s gifts when they give you something. This is them showing you that you are important to them. Make sure to show them that you appreciate it.

​We all need love relationship to thrive in life. Part of having love relationships is knowing how to show love to others in a way that they will receive. For someone whose love language is gifts, then regular meaningful gives that show them you were thinking of them helps them feel full and confident in your love. This helps them know they are important to you.

Download my FREE Guide Date Night: Ideas for Your Love Language

Liz’s Useful Links: 


Join the Communicate & Connect Newsletter

Join our bi-monthly newsletter with tips for improving your relationship. The newsletter is part of The Communicate & Connect Podcast which focuses on military and veteran couples; however, much of the information is applicable to civilian couples as well.  

    We won't send you spam. Unsubscribe at any time.


    About Author

    Elizabeth Polinsky is a Certified Emotionally Focused Couple Therapist (EFT) providing EFT marriage counseling in the states of Virginia, Maryland, North Carolina, South Carolina, Arkansas, and Nevada. She also provides EFT training and supervision to therapists looking to become certified in EFT Couple Therapy. As a military spouse, she has a special passion for working with military and veteran couples, and is also the host of The Communicate & Connect Podcast for Military Relationships.


    My podcast, blogs, videos, newsletters, and products are general information for educational purposes only; they are not psychotherapy and not a replacement for therapy. The information provided is not intended to be therapy or psychological advice; and nothing I post should be considered professional advice. The information provided does not constitute the formation of a therapist-patient relationship.

    I cannot answer questions regarding your specific situation; you should consult your doctor or mental health provider regarding advice and support for your health and well being. If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency, you should call 911, report to your local ER, or call the National Crisis Hotline at 1-800-273-8255.

    The podcast, blogs, videos, newsletters, and products are not a request for a testimonial, rating, or endorsement from clients regarding counseling. If you are a current or former client/ patient, please remember that your comments may jeopardize your confidentiality. I will not “friend” or “follow” current or past clients to honor ethical boundaries and privacy; nor will I respond to comments or messages through social media or other platforms from current or past clients. Current and past client’s should only contact me through the professional contact information provided on the website.

    ​Lastly, accounts may be managed by multiple people. Therefore, comments and messages are monitored by staff and are not confidential.