June 22, 2020

Five Love Languages Part 3: Giving Vs. Receiving


Five Love Languages Summary

The five love languages, based on the book by Dr. Gary Chapman, are a method of understanding how you and you feel loved. When you understand your love languages, and the love languages of your partner, you are better able to communicate your love in ways that will be heard.

Five Love Languages Summary (read the full overview here):
1.Words of Affirmation: With this love language, verbalizing love goes a long way.
2.Physical Touch: This love language longs to be physically close.
3.Gifts: Small meaningful gifts make this person feel loved.
4.Acts of Service: With this love language, actions speak louder than words.
5.Quality Time: This love language longs to have your undivided attention.

While most people have a top love language that makes them feel really loved. Some people have a primary and a secondary love language. You can learn more about primary and secondary love languages here

Five Love Languages Giving vs Receiving 

For the majority of people, the way natural ways they feel loved are also the natural ways they tend to try to show love to others. So for someone who feels loved when they are given gifts, they tend to give gifts to others to show their affection. In this case, this individual’s love language for receiving and giving love are the same.

However, for some individuals, they give and receive love differently. Maybe they feel really loved when they are complemented and told they are appreciated. However, they could have a different way of showing other that they love them—maybe they prefer quality time or acts of service as how they give love to others.

It is important to consider whether your love language is the same for both giving and receiving love, as well as whether your partners love language is the same for both giving and receiving. Having this information can help you modify your strategies so you can give love in a way your partner will receive it, as well as understand when they are trying to show you love—even if it isn’t always the same why that you would receive it!

If you aren’t sure what you love language is, read my article on how to know your love language.

Download my FREE Guide Date Night: Ideas for Your Love Language

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    About Author

    Elizabeth Polinsky is a Certified Emotionally Focused Couple Therapist (EFT) providing EFT marriage counseling in the states of Virginia, Maryland, North Carolina, South Carolina, Arkansas, and Nevada. She also provides EFT training and supervision to therapists looking to become certified in EFT Couple Therapy. As a military spouse, she has a special passion for working with military and veteran couples, and is also the host of The Communicate & Connect Podcast for Military Relationships.


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