Married to an Entrepreneur? 5 Relationship Survival Hacks You Need to Know with Heather Jones

Episode Summary of “Married to an Entrepreneur? 5 Relationship Survival Hacks You Need to Know with Heather Jones”

Being married to an entrepreneur, especially within the unique context of military life, comes with a distinct set of challenges and rewards. How do you balance supporting your partner’s dream while pursuing your own? What happens when household roles need to shift, and how do you navigate the difficult conversations about finances, time, and personal identity?

In this episode “Married to an Entrepreneur? 5 Relationship Survival Hacks You Need to Know”, Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky sits down with Heather Jones, a life coach for military spouse entrepreneurs, to have an honest conversation about the realities of being married to an entrepreneur. Heather shares her personal journey of transitioning from a military career and government work to becoming a stay-at-home mom and, eventually, a business owner.

Together, they explore the emotional hurdles, the internal battles with guilt and independence, and the practical strategies needed to make both the business and the relationship thrive.

Don’t forget to check out our free 10-week relationship email course. This email course is really designed for people who are maybe having trouble with communication or connection in their relationship and helping them develop some quick wins right away to start improving it.

Guest Speaker Bio – “Heather Jones”

Heather Jones is a native New Yorker who now resides in Alabama with her wonderful husband and two beautiful children. She’s a life long lover of books, animals, and creating. Heather is a certified life coach who has taken the long route with many exciting endeavors on her way here. At 18 she joined the Army, met her husband, and after serving 6 years exited the military.

Early on she studied baking and pastry arts which she happily implements in her own kitchen for her friend’s and family’s benefit. She entered the entrepreneurial world officially as an Etsy shop owner and over time, while enjoyable, she realized there was something more she wanted to do and that is when she found her passion to inspire and empower others. That is where she found coaching.

Resources:

My website ⁠https://www.heatherjonescoaching.com/⁠
Youtube ⁠https://bit.ly/HeatherJonesCoachingYT⁠
My Podcast: Purpose, Power, and Productivity: A Mompreneur’s Mission
https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/heatherjonescoaching
More Than Mom: From Stay-at-Home Mom to Entrepreneur free ebook
https://heatherjonescoaching.com/ebookfreedownload/
LinkedIn ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/heather-jones-coaching/⁠
Instagram ⁠http://instagram.com/heather_jones_coaching⁠

Free Relationship Pattern Assessment

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Episode Transcript for “Married to an Entrepreneur? 5 Relationship Survival Hacks You Need to Know with Heather Jones”

This podcast is sponsored by Communicate and Connect Counseling, where we have a team of therapists who provide individual couples and family therapy services, all tailored to meet the needs of military and veteran families. To learn more about our services, visit www.communicateandconnect.com.

Welcome to the Communicate and Connect podcast for military relationships with your host, Elizabeth Polinsky, a military marriage counselor. If this is your first time listening to the Communicate and Connect podcast, please take a second to go rate review and subscribe to make sure you get all our future episodes.

We also really wanna know what it is you love about our podcast, and if for some reason you’re not loving it, we wanna know that too because we’re committed to providing the best quality content to help you improve your relationships.

You’re listening to episode 67, Married to an Entrepreneur? 5 Relationship Survival Hacks You Need to Know with Heather Jones.

Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky: Heather, thank you for coming and being on the podcast. Maybe we could just start off and have you introduce yourself a little bit and tell us a little bit about what it is that you do.

Heather Jones: I would love to. Thank you first for having me on. I appreciate being here and chatting with you about this. So I am married to the man who I met while we were both serving the Army. And I start with that because that is a very significant part of my journey and my story, which we’re gonna talk about today.

Heather Jones: So we’ve been together almost 20 years now. Wow. He not married for that full amount of time. He took his time asking me, but we’ve been happily together for almost 20 years. We have two little ones, a boy and a girl still at home with us. So about 11 and nine. I don’t know why I always say about I don’t know their ages.

Heather Jones: That is how old. Yeah. And we have a house full of animals because at the core of everything, I am also deeply an animal lover. So that’s personal life. Professionally, I am a life coach for military spouse entrepreneurs.

Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky: Yeah. Wonderful. I’m just thinking that’s so amazing. 20 years. We’re gonna really talk about how to navigate owning a business and navigating that in your marriage and also dealing with that in the context of military life. But I’m just thinking any quick fast tips for how to make it 20 years? Oh,

Heather Jones: no. Okay. I don’t think there are any. There are ups, there are downs. You need to be patient, love each other when you don’t love each other.

Heather Jones: You know what I mean? I don’t think there’s like a one rule. If I had to come up with one thing, I would say respect.

Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky: Ah, just,

Heather’s 20-year marriage and the importance of respect over affection.

Heather Jones: I always love him. I don’t always like him. I don’t always like the way he shows up. I don’t always like the choices he makes, and I’m a hundred percent sure he feels the same way about me.

Heather Jones: But when I don’t like something, we don’t name call. We don’t point fingers. So we approach the thing with respect. I think that’s gotta be maybe one of the most important things I’ve learned.

Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky: Yeah. Lovely. Thank you. I know I threw that at you. That’s not in the context of what we’re supposed to talk about, but I realize it’s important.

Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky: 20 years. Wow. Yeah. Okay.

Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky: So you’re an entrepreneur and you also help military spouse entrepreneurs, People who might be listening to this, maybe they’re already an entrepreneur or maybe they’re thinking about starting a business. And I’m wondering if you could share a little bit about your story of how you decided to start a business, and then how you had that conversation with your partner.

Heather Jones: Yeah, I’d be happy to. it’s actually a very long journey, if I’m being honest. That tells you I’ve been around for a little while. I’ve got a few decades under my belt. So there’s a lot of history, there’s a lot of information to share, but I’ll try to keep it brief and to the point so people can really take the pieces that are most important.

Heather Jones: When I met my husband, as I said at the beginning, I was in the Army. I didn’t make it a career, but I already was self-sufficient and independent financially and all of the things.

Heather Jones: When I got out of the army, he and I of course, were still together and I went right into the workforce. I went in as a military contractor that actually led to a government position. And what happened was we thought he was gonna get out of the army and so I was solidifying myself in my career climbing the ladder, so to speak.

Heather Jones: Alongside that, I was building the foundation for opening a bakery someday I. Oh, so that was my passion. At the time I was going to school for baking and pastry arts. I was getting educated in how to open a business, a brick and mortar. And so I was doing all of those things. And then my husband hit me with the, I really wanna consider doing 20 years in the Army.

Heather Jones: And I’m like, oh, where’s the toilet? ’cause all of my dreams that I had been planning and, gearing up for it, just got flushed right down it. We agreed that he would do the thing. He didn’t tell me, this is what I’m gonna do, get on board or go. We agreed and at the same time, it still was the death of the things that I had been, it’s a big loss preparing for, and planning for and dreaming of.

Heather Jones: Followed him to his next duty station. They were on a hiring freeze, so I did not get a job when I got there. Got pregnant in between and definitely was not getting a job at that point. Nobody was hiring me. Once that bump started showing. And it was at that time that I decided, you know what?

Heather Jones: I wanna see what it’s like to stay home with my kiddo. I think I wanna be a stay at home mom and see how this goes. Which was a very difficult revelation for me because I always just knew I was gonna be a lady who had her own income I was going to earn. I’d always done it from the time that I joined the Army at 18, and so that was tough to wrap my head around even having that conversation with him, but he was so receptive.

Heather Jones: And that’s just what I learned, how my husband is, I say what’s important to me and he’s supportive. And so I got really lucky, very blessed in that. Yeah. It didn’t take very long before I was like, okay, stay at home mom is not my jam. This is not for me. Definitely wanna stay home with him. And also, I want an income.

Heather Jones: So I needed to figure out how to do both. And that’s when I had to tell my husband I wanna do something more with my time. Breach that conversation. That was easy at the time because it was a multi-level marketing thing I was getting myself into, which, I don’t know if you’re familiar with ’em, they sell you.

Heather Jones: It’s your own business. It’s really not. But that was my introduction to eventually really starting my own business. But it was such a small entry point that it wasn’t too much of a conversation I had to have with my husband at that time. There were definitely deeper conversations later when I decided I wanted to do my own thing.

Heather Jones: But I’m gonna pause and take a breath here.

Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky: Yes. Yeah. A couple of things are standing out to me about your story so far and I was just thinking how common it is that military spouses, we have career goals, you know, and that they do end up being put on pause or they get on the back burner, they are saved for, maybe one day I could do this. Yeah. But that oftentimes. Even when we agree to it, even when we say, yeah that’s okay for you. Like we’re agreeing to the 20 years it still is a pretty big loss to have to put a career dream to the side, like the bakery.

Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky: So I could really feel that when you were sharing about that.

Heather Jones: Yeah, that is such a common story for our community. Most of us don’t go into these relationships at 18. Some do straight out of, their parents’ house. That’s okay. I’m not throwing shade. But a lot of us don’t. We have our goals and our aspirations and some of us are well on our way into them.

Heather Jones: And so I do think it is a very relatable common story that so many of us have to go through when we enter into this lifestyle.

Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky: Yeah. I’m also thinking about how lovely it is that you have a really supportive husband.

Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky: Maybe I take that

Heather Jones: for granted.

Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky: I feel like my story is very much the same. My husband has been very supportive. I was doing my dream job really when we met, and I was working at the Department of Veterans Affairs.

Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky: At that point, I had no dreams of owning my own business. I just loved doing therapy and I helped run a training program for, recent graduates who were learning therapy, and I got to do research. It was just really cool what I got to do. Yeah. And it was a massive loss to put that to the side and to leave that job and then to pursue.

Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky: something else. We had to have a lot of conversations, my husband and I, about how is he willing to accept a pay cut that I’m not going to earn as much while I find new dreams to follow. All sorts of things around that.

Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky: And then I’m hearing about in your story that you started something kind of small entryway. You had some learning from the bakery, but then I forgot what you called it,

Heather Jones: multi-level marketing. Yes. Thank you.

Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky: Yeah. That there was an entry point.

Heather Jones: In some ways that made the conversation with my husband easier ’cause he knew that being a stay at home mom and having something more was where it was at for me.

Heather Jones: That made that part easy. And this isn’t necessarily what the conversation is about, what I’m gonna say right now, but I will tell you that it did not make starting my first business easier. I just wanna throw that out there for anybody. ’cause multilevel marketing is also another thing that’s really huge for stay at home moms, military spouses.

Heather Jones: Yeah. Because it does allow us to continue to stay home with our kids. And there’s so many beautiful promises that are made about it. And I’m not gonna sit here and bash it. Don’t get me wrong. That’s not where I’m going. I just wanted to say that it. For all intents and purposes, did not set me up for success for starting my own business.

Heather Jones: Okay. Anybody who was listening, I wanted to share that point. It felt important to me, but back to the topic of why we’re here. The conversations with my husband that helped me ease into the conversations. But there was a point where I was like, okay, this isn’t working for me, this isn’t where my heart is at.

Heather Jones: I’m noticing it’s not what I was promised. It’s not what I thought it was going to be, but I really do want to start my own business. And with that came one, the discussion of. This is gonna take a little income, which I don’t have any of, so I’m gonna need you to fund it because I started doing handmade products for Etsy.

Heather Jones: And so there shouldn’t be any shame in that conversation with your spouse, right? There never should have been for us because that was never a thing. Like he was never, Heather, you have to ask me for money, Heather. This is my money. You get an allowance. It’s never been that.

Heather Jones: It has always been what I make is ours. Oh, that’s so I really like your husband. Thank you. I do too. He’s a good guy. But I think what’s important to highlight here is even if you have the most supportive spouse, and even if they’re like, yes, I want to support all of your dreams. And that’s their approach.

The financial and emotional guilt of being a military spouse and relying on your partner’s income.

Heather Jones: It doesn’t change the fact that so many of us, especially those of us who came from a background of being independent, feel some guilt or shame around it. And that was the major struggle in that I had to say, I don’t have the money coming in myself. I need you to fund this for me until I can fund it for myself.

Heather Jones: And then, build businesses can take a lot of time. To start to have that income. And so the more years that I didn’t have the income and the more transitions I made, ’cause I went from crochet to woodwork to a bunch of things, to eventually life coaching where I am now with all of those transitions, it felt like I see you continuing to support my dream and I feel so bad that I have not made a success of it yet.

Heather Jones: And so if anything, that was probably one of the absolute most challenging things for me.

Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky: Yes, I can relate to that too. I’ve thought about it for myself over the years because when my husband and I met, I made more money than he did. He has really financially supported us the last several years as I’ve been trying to grow my business.

Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky: But. I know for me, there is that piece of I wanna be independent. I don’t wanna rely on somebody. So it’s hard to have him financially supporting me so much. But there’s that piece that comes into it. And then I have another maybe feminist side of me that starts thinking about well, of course as women, this would be an important conversation around what does it mean to be dependent on a man.

Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky: And feeling the freedom to support ourselves. So it makes a lot of sense that there’s that craving. I know not all military spouses are female, but so many of them are that there would be this natural craving from generations of women don’t have the freedom to leave a situation.

Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky: And there’s that craving to be able to support, ourselves. I think.

Heather Jones: I wholeheartedly agree. For context, I come from a divorced household. Now, my parents didn’t divorce until I was an adult, so I grew up gratefully with both of my parents in the household. But the point I’m making is I saw the impact of a mom who didn’t work.

Heather Jones: She didn’t work for an income. And to see my parents divorce and my mom not having a way to really support herself beyond you know, social security because she is disabled.

Heather Jones: I was like, that’s not gonna be me. I trust my husband and I feel safe and financially with him and that piece of my life doesn’t let me ever feel fully safe. So there’s that definite like drive, need, desire to have the security of financial independence.

Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky: Yeah. I’m thinking about at different times where I’ve felt that in my life and as a business owner, it can be motivating for me to work really hard. And then sometimes it can feel like limiting and scary. And I think that’s the part that can come up in my marriage is the fear more and me having to work on that in my relationship with my husband of okay, actually I am safe here.

Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky: I have to remind myself that, it’s safe to rely on my husband, actually.

Acknowledging a supportive partner.

Heather Jones: Yeah. You just brought up a thought for me. I’ve been talking my husband up like he’s a saint. He really is a wonderful husband, and I could not ask for a better scenario to dive into my own dreams and be able to take the time to get where I’m going and to approach success in the way that feels right to me.

Heather Jones: I couldn’t ask for a better scenario. Also, there have been challenges, so I mean, it’s not all sunshine and rainbows over here. There are definitely challenges. One of the things that has been probably most difficult for me is having the conversation with him about needing to feel like he respects me as a business owner, not somebody who has a cute little hobby who’s trying to do something from home like, so many other wives do, and I’m saying that like very sarcastically.

Heather Jones: Not because he made me feel that way, but because there weren’t boundaries set and an understanding that, okay, yes, I stayed at home for a number of years. I started raising our children as a stay at home mom and I did the homemaker thing, so I cooked and cleaned, ran the errands, all of the things for the household.

Heather Jones: So his job was his job that he got paid for, and my job was to run the household. And then when I started building my own business the household needed to become our job on a more level playing field so that I could throw myself more into building the business. So if the kids left for school, now this is my own personal schedule, but like the kids left for school and these hours now where they’re gone at school, these are mine to dedicate to my business.

Heather Jones: So if you know anything needs to happen for the household in that time, I don’t want it to be assumed that it’s mine. Yes. That was a hard discussion to have. Yeah, it’s because he’s still the breadwinner, so to speak. He’s still the one supporting the family and making the money financially.

Heather Jones: And I’m never going to be able to be that person alongside him if I’m not given, the opportunity to set these boundaries and the respect to say, no, I’m not making any money, but what I do is real and it’s serious. And that was hard because we both had those, expectations set where I was the one that did all the things.

Heather Jones: So that was definitely probably one of the biggest challenges and really taking my business and what I was building seriously. And asking that of him as well.

Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky: Yes. I think you read my mind ’cause I was gonna ask about some of the conflicts that you’ve encountered with trying to run a business and how that’s been in your relationship and that.

Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky: I can see that being really challenging for a lot of military spouses who maybe have been in a similar situation and they wanna start their own business as well. I think that even if they were working teaching or wherever, just because the service member is gone so often with deployments and stuff, there’s already sort of, the home is your stuff.

Heather Jones: Sometimes it does have to be.

Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky: Yeah. But to not have that as a baseline. I’m hearing like in order to scale, to really grow to then be able to feel like I do have this sense of independence eventually. I do need the time to work on the business, which means that we need to be handling family life equally.

Heather Jones: Yeah. Absolutely. I could approach the conversation with him because I know my husband and I know he’s supportive and I also recognize everybody’s not gonna have that scenario where the husband is able to be, or the spouse is able to be as supportive. So to that, I would say it’s still necessary to figure out how to broach that conversation. Yeah. Still has to be had.

Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky: But this is my little moment of like couples counseling. I can help.

Heather Jones: Yes, absolutely. This is Liz, is, I don’t have to tell your audience what you do for a living, but this is your zone of genius.

Heather Jones: From my perspective. You have to be able to have the conversation and have it in a way, and this is where Liz guides you. How do you do this? Have it in a way where, what I say you are able to receive. What you say comes out in a way that I can receive it. So neither one of us feels attacked or like we’re having the finger pointed at us, right?

Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky: Yes.

Heather Jones: That’s where my personal marriage does have a bit of a discrepancy is, me having to be able to calm myself and say, okay, I am not feeling seen or respected. And it might not have been his fault, but I still need to have the conversation.

The struggle of gaining a spouse’s respect for a new business.

Heather Jones: I need to feel from you ’cause you matter to me and your perspective is important to me as my husband. I need to feel from you that you see that what I am doing is important and that it is real, is not some little thing I’m playing with.

Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky: Yeah. And that my dreams are valuable too.

Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky: I totally get that. Have there been any other big sticking points in the journey of owning a business that you noticed that came up in the relationship because there was tension between being a business owner and being a spouse?

Heather Jones: I would say probably the biggest thing was.

Heather Jones: I’m always gonna take responsibility because I’m a life coach, right? Because I’ve been doing my own coaching, receiving coaching and learning how to coach myself for years. Now I’m to this point. So I’m always gonna take responsibility what I feel like is my part, and I don’t say responsibility, meaning fault.

Heather Jones: I say, what can I do to make this what I need it to be? But I also want to invite people to read between the lines, right? When I say things. So what I mean by that is I had to set boundaries.

Heather Jones: Be the one to say, these are now my work hours.

Heather Jones: No, I’m no longer able to pick up your dry cleaning.

Heather Jones: No, I am not gonna do the grocery shopping.

Heather Jones: Hey, by the way, we’re gonna need to spend a little extra money on grocery shopping now ’cause I can’t go do it. I’m gonna order it and somebody else is gonna drive it to the house.

Heather Jones: And just so you know, if you have a problem with that, we can discuss that.

Heather Jones: But this is where I’m at.

Heather Jones: And so really had to get clear on what was important to me and start setting those boundaries and have that conversation with him.

Heather Jones: Again, he was very receptive, and so I’m grateful for that.

Heather Jones: But the challenge was even knowing that I had to have the conversation with him and taking responsibility for all of that. And so I always say I’ve been able to coach myself because a lot of people, and I don’t say this to point fingers at anybody.

Heather Jones: It just it takes personal growth to know that you get to take responsibility for these things and to set these boundaries that are important to you and to know how to do it so that it feels okay to everybody involved, but also that you feel validated and like you are doing the thing that matters most to you. Yeah. Taking yourself seriously. Respecting yourself, kind

Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky: of thing. I love that.

Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky: I feel like I wanna do like the snappy thing with lawyers.

Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky: Okay, let’s do it. Because boundaries are so hard.

Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky: There is a couple dynamic, but it’s so hard, especially if we have struggled with boundaries in other parts of our lives. Again, I’m thinking women tend to be socialized, to be caregivers, caretakers, to be thinking of other people and to say, no, actually I need this.

Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky: And I’m going to prioritize what I need here is really hard to do. Yeah. And it does take a lot of personal growth. And when I think about that, it’s like the constant saying, no, I’m gonna do this for myself, is really hard.

Heather Jones: if you do have a spouse who you’re blessed enough that is supportive of your endeavor.

Heather Jones: It’s still an internal battle because if my kids have, let’s say an appointment or one of ’em gets sick and I had a meeting scheduled. That feels very important to me. I always say let’s try to stay flexible. But if there’s something that’s come up that feels very important to me, I’m recording YouTube with somebody, or doing a podcast with a partner and it feels like that’s where I need my energy to be that day.

Setting boundaries and delegating household duties fairly.

Heather Jones: The assumption that I’m gonna be the one that cancels my plans to stay home with the kids. Because traditionally I’m the caregiver, the homemaker that is an internal battle personally. That I have had to have over and over again. ’cause I feel almost bad going, Hey husband, can you take the time off or go in late?

Heather Jones: Or, work extra hours on a different day to support this? Even though you’re still the one making more money. Even though what I’m gonna do isn’t really making the money yet, there’s this huge internal battle there. Yeah. To have that discussion and to be okay with having that discussion.

Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky: Yeah. We don’t have kids, but I feel the same way. Like anytime our pets need to go to the vet or something. I’m always thinking, okay, I need to ask if he’ll take time off to do this. So that way it’s not just always on me. Yeah.

Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky: So I’m thinking for people who might be listening, do you have any final tips how you navigate having a family and running a business at the same time?

Heather Jones: Yes. I have a few things that I would say to that. The first thing I would say is, of course I’m gonna say this ’cause I’m a life coach.

Heather Jones: There’s no such thing as too much personal development. As long as you’re approaching it from, not because I hate myself, ’cause there’s something wrong with me, but because I love myself and I wanna continue to grow in who I am and be confident in that person. Personal growth is how I got to where I am today.

Heather Jones: So if you would’ve talked to me, before this journey as a coach I was a very different person. I was high anxiety. I was a mom who yelled more often than I would’ve liked. I hated myself for yelling as often as I was yelling at my kids. I was passive aggressive to approaching discussions with my husband because I didn’t know how to set the boundary.

Heather Jones: So instead of setting the boundary and having the discussion, I was passive aggressive. I’d make snide comments and that doesn’t make for a happy household. And so, the more that you grow in yourself and become confident in who you are and are able to claim who you are and what you want and have the discussions, the happier your entire household will be.

Heather Jones: Yeah, the more that you are able to get comfortable with what you do matters just as much. And I know this is even more impactful for a military spouse because what our spouses are doing, serving our country. Putting their lives on the line and saying, the business that I want to build is just as important.

Prioritizing personal fulfillment to improve the entire family’s happiness.

Heather Jones: That can feel like a big old argument in your own head to begin with, right? But the point there though is if you’re pursuing what matters to you, whether it’s being a stay at home mom, or starting or running a business, or any other thing in between when you’re pursuing the thing that matters to you and you’re not pretending that it’s not as important, you are happier.

Heather Jones: Yeah. So your household is happier.

Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky: Yeah. I feel like a happy hearing you say that. I have a goosebump, tingly feeling as you were saying that. I was like, oh man, I need to make this like a little quote card for my wall because it’s resonating inside of me what you’re saying.

Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky: I think it was, I have to claim myself, stay myself. And I watched some movie, recently about. When they landed on the moon and they like put the flag, almost I have to plant this little flag here and say, no I’m gonna prioritize me.

Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky: And that does go so far to my own sense of personal happiness it’s making sense to me that would reduce anxiety as well, because if I’m not being true to myself, I’m gonna feel anxious or depressed. And so staying solid in myself not only makes life more enjoyable for me, but then would also help, make the culture of our family different.

Heather Jones: Yeah, absolutely. Just final a little kind of comment here. Our spouses can be with what they do for a living, for a career, they can be under an extraordinary amount of pressure that most people will never understand.

Heather Jones: Somebody who has never served couldn’t possibly understand. And I heard somebody say, it’s our job to make sure that they’re our priority. It’s our job to make sure that they are cared for, that they are happy that the home is, I heard somebody say that, and I don’t 100% agree or disagree.

Heather Jones: But I would say if you’ve committed yourself to a marriage or to a family, children or not, You’ve committed to showing up for one another. Everybody involved is committed to showing up for one another. And if you are not happy, you are not pursuing something that matters to you, then your marriage is off balance.

Heather Jones: Your household is off balance. If your perspective is that you need to support your service member and you are not happy, you are not supporting your service member. I’m not saying the entire weight of the responsibility falls on a military spouse. I don’t agree with that. Yeah. But I do agree that if your intention is to show up for your service member, you have to show up for you.

Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky: Yes. I love that. Like when you’re on a plane, you have to put the mask on yourself first before you, if you stop breathing, you can’t

Heather Jones: help

Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky: anybody else.

The “fill your own cup first” analogy.

Heather Jones: Exactly. Yeah. You stop loving yourself, caring for yourself, filling your own cup. You can’t do that for others.

Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky: Heather, I’m thinking like if people want to do coaching with you, could you share a little bit about sort of your services and how people could find you if they wanted to work with you?

Heather Jones: Thank you. I would love to. So I work in a couple of settings. My primary way that I work with people is through group coaching and that looks like a four month program where I walk them through the basics of how to start a business.

Heather Jones: But most important is getting on that personal level of, having the confidence, not having the imposter syndrome and knowing you are the person that’s gonna succeed. The mindset work to go along with a strategy of running a business. So that’s my favorite way to work with people because it’s not just me showing up and talking and one person saying how they’re feeling, but not always knowing how to broach a conversation.

Heather Jones: It’s all of us. And so everybody gets to feed off of. Everybody else’s examples and experience and what I share with each person. So that’s my favorite way. But some people really love a one-on-one opportunity. So I do also offer one-on-one coaching and the best way to connect with me is HeatherJonescoaching.com.

Heather Jones: That’s my website. My favorite place to drive people to though is my YouTube channel, because I talk about all of this stuff more in depth. And you can also find me under Heather Jones coaching there.

Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky: Okay, great. We will have all of those links in the show notes for people, so that way they can just click and find you really easily.

Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky: But I thank you for sharing that right now too, in case somebody just wants to Google it. I love that you are offering both individual and group coaching. I really like groups also. Because you need community. You really can’t do big changes on your own. And so I love that you’re doing that.

Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky: Yeah, thank you. And I love that you were on our podcast, so thank you. Me too. Yes. I enjoyed this conversation. Thank you so much.

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